->take the computer
-You try your best to force your large LAPTOP into your back pocket. You stop trying almost immediately due to how dumb you feel. This laptop takes up TEN INVENTORY SLOTS. If you want to take it with you you’ll need something large to carry it with.
->analyse laptop
-It’s a nice LAPTOP. You have tried your best to make it appear to be a laptop owned by someone who is quite savvy with electronics. The desktop wallpaper is from some obscure video game you’ve never played, and you’ve made sure to torrent a bunch of programs that you don’t really need. However, you aren’t very sure how to install these pirated programs without breaking your computer, so you just leave them alone.
-On this LAPTOP you can access your SOCIAL SPACE and post OPINIONS. You can also SHOP from it, using MONEY. You can also DRAW, WRITE, EDIT VIDEOS, PROGRAM, and all sorts of other computery stuff. You aren’t very good at anything just mentioned, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn in time.
-This computer has a wifi connection, allowing you to connect anywhere there’s an access point, as long as you know its RIDICULOUSLY LONG PASSWORD.
->pick up laptop
-Your laptop is a BARELY HEAVY ITEM, and due to this, you must roll a BRAWN SKILL CHECK using your STRENGTH MODIFIER.
-I think you see where this is going. You have no DICE, you roll a ZERO. You score a ONE due to your plus 1 STRENGTH MODIFIER.
-You try your best to lift your computer, but your arms feel like they’re made of wet silly putty. You are seriously pissed at your lack of DICE.
->charm laptop
-You point and wink at the LAPTOP. This goes over about as well as you’d expect at this point. You roll a ZERO with an added 2 MODIFIER, plus your 1 SKILL BONUS.
-For all those flowery additions, you only manage to have a score of 3.
-Your LAPTOP feels an urge to punch your stupid face.
->get dice
-Oh ok, you suddenly have DICE now.
->really?
-No, don’t be stupid. Stop being so stupid this instant.
-If you want DICE, you’ll have to find some.
-It’s a good thing you don’t necessarily need DICE to get GROCERIES. That sure would suck wouldn’t it?
->analyse groceries
-You don’t have GROCERIES to analyse.
->analyse task
-Which task shall I analyse?
-[groceries
-You need to go to the STORE to get some GROCERIES and bring them home before 2 o’clock. Currently, you’re not sure what GROCERIES you need. If only there was a LIST OF GROCERIES somewhere in the house, like in the KITCHEN or something.
->go downstairs
-You venture out of your room and to the top of the stairs that lie in between your SISTER’S ROOM and the BATHROOM. You glance downward, toward uncharted territory. You can’t help but sweat a little at the thought of exploring something completely foreign to you.
-Wait no, that’s stupid. You’ve been downstairs a ton of times.
-Really, you have.
-You’re not sure what just got into you.
-You venture in the great known. The instantly familiar landscape of the downstairs portion of the house mystifies you. You feel like a stranger in a very regular land. Every wall, table, door you come across appears extremely commonplace and exquisitely ordinary to your totally uninterested eyes, like stars in the sky, the ones that you’ve grown used to and ignore almost subconsciously.
-In this brand old world, you find yourself wandering in misty-eyed boredom to the KITCHEN. It’s extraordinary. Wait, no it isn’t.
-The KITCHEN has very shiny, white tiled floors. On top of those floors are counters that house certain kitcheny items, such as a STOVE, a MICROWAVE, a REFRIGERATOR, and a fine assortment of KNIVES next to a roll of PAPER TOWELS. There’s also a PANTRY if you’re feeling really dangerous.
-You’ve been here many times before. Really, you have.
->go to counter
-You are at the COUNTER.
->look at the counter
-It is now directly centered into your field of vision.
-There is nothing odd about the COUNTER, which is odd.
-Wasn’t there supposed to be a LIST OF GROCERIES here?
->be confused
-Accomplished. You put your hands on your head and make a bewildered expression. You are the picture of confusion right now.
->analyse situation
-You’re looking for the GROCERY LIST your MOM left for you in the KITCHEN. It appears that it isn’t on the KITCHEN COUNTER. This revelation made you confused, and you are now in the process of being confused.
->look in refrigerator
-You take one of your hands off your head to open the refrigerator door. You stare in confusion at an assortment of drinks and lunch meats.
-There is some SODA in here. There is also some SLICED TURKEY and CHEESE, along with some PICKLES and other things.
-And what’s this? There’s also a SMALL FUTURISTIC BOX with lights flashing on it. It’s making a faint humming noise.
->pick up box
-The material is cool to the touch. You turn it around in your hands. On its front are two green lights side-by-side, with an illuminated green strip crossing horizontally below them. The box is grey but shiny, is a way that reminds you of those O-PHONES that company ORANGE ships out from their factory lines every day. The box has no discernible opening point.
-Suddenly, the box begins making a noise. From tiny speaker holes in its sides you hear a familiar voice.
-“Arnold, it’s your mom. I’ve noticed lately that you’ve been leaving the house without eating a lick of breakfast or lunch. I’m concerned for your health, so before I let you have the grocery list inside this box, I’m going to need you to eat something before you go. And I know you’ll do it, because if you don’t get that grocery list and get the right things at the store, I’ll kick you out of the house. So you better hurry up!
Love Mom”
-You should have known this was one of your MOM’s little doohickeys. Being a SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER, she has access to alien material and technology, as well as inhuman PROGRAMMING SKILLS. That clever girlbastard.
-You narrow your eyes, this whole thing is coming off as very CONTRIVED.
-The cube glows again.
-“Also I though this would be a good opportunity for you to practice the alchemy system, almost like a tutorial or something like that. Love you sweety!”
-Yep, definitely contrived.
-You put the cube on the counter.
->alanyse space rift musketeer
-You try your best to make the SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER CAREER bend into an alan-like shape. You almost break your brain with the strain, but there’s no going back now.
-Despite your efforts, the SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER CAREER remains as unalan-ish as always.
->I meant analyse space rift musketeer
-I’m sorry, I don’t understand you.
->analyse space rift musketeer
-SPACE RIFT MUSKETEERS are explorers of the confines and theories of space. Unlike researchers or scientists, this guild of space adventurers band together to actively test the boundaries of other dimensions and explore the ideas of parallel universes and timelines, and don’t spend all day sitting behind a desk. Each musketeer caries a variety of reality-warping gadgets that allow them to accomplish things outside the human limitations or imagination. It is quite possibly the COOLEST THING EVER.
-Well, to other people at least. Growing up with one as your mother, you’re kind of bored by the whole thing. You’d much rather be a movie star, or something. Anything else really.
-The CAREER BARCHARTER has been updated.
->look at career barcharter
-You access your personal CAREER BARCHARTER in your STATUS DIRECTUM, in this menu lies all the CAREERS you can possibly obtain. However, before you work towards certain CAREERS, you must know about them first. You have only heard of one CAREER, which is SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER. And you absolutely don’t want to do that. Seriously, stupidest most boring job ever. You’ll never ever be a SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER; never EVER. NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU GOING TO BE A SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER.
->make a sandwich
-To partake in ALCHEMY, you must have an appropriate ALCHEMY APPARATUS and SUFFICIENT INGREDIENTS.
->get meat and cheese out of fridge
-You clutch the TURKEY container and plasticly wrapped slices of CHEESE and drag them out of the REFRIGERATOR. Your hands are now full.
->put meant and cheese on counter
-The TURKEY and CHEESE lie on the empty COUNTER.
->transport pickles to counter
-You move the PICKLES to join his fellow party members. The group of lunchy adventurers is almost balanced now with the inclusion of PICKLES’s class. Now if only they had a character with a BREAD class, they’d be a fully functioning team; ready to explore and loot treasure inside your hungry mouth cave.
->find bread
-You can’t see any BREAD from where you are.
->open pantry
-The PANTRY door is now ajar. Inside there is a LOAF OF BREAD. There’s also a treasure trove of snacks and other pantry things in there. Underneath all the food in a bunch of futuristic-looking stuff, probably more of your MOM’S boring unuseful shit.
->take bread to counter
-BREAD joins the party! This group can’t wait to be ALCHEMETIZED into a sandwich so they can get to questing!
->alchemize sandwich
-Hold on! You’re missing an ALCHEMY APPARATUS! You can’t just go around ALCHEMETIZING any old thing without an appropriate surface to get your ALCHEMETIZE on!
->get a strip of paper towel
-You rip a power towel off its roll. You now have a PAPER TOWEL in your RIGHT HAND.
->put paper towel on counter
-Done.
->put meat, cheese, bread, and pickles on paper towel
-After moving the ingredients, they begin to shine with a sciency glow. You now have an opportunity to perform ALCHEMY.
->make a motherfucking sandwich
-You begin to ALCHEMETIZE, you have now entered the ALCHEMY MENUSPECTRUM!
-Your INGREDIENTS are BREAD(LV3), PICKLES(LV2), TURKEY(LV2), and CHEESE(LV1).
-Please input your first INGREDIENT to DESCRUTINIZE.
-[ok so what exactly am i doing here?
-Sorry, I don’t understand you.
-Your INGREDIENTS are BREAD(LV3), PICKLES(LV2), TURKEY(LV2), and CHEESE(LV1).
-Please input your first INGREDIENT to DESCRUTINIZE.
-[bread
-The BREAD INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of brown and white STRUCTION BEADS. There are three WHITE BEADS and two BROWN BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->oh god what
-Sorry, I don’t understand you.
->analyse alchemy
-Alchemy is one of the base SCIENCES of mankind, and it is the only way to COMBINE items. This is kind of displeasing since ALCHEMY is really convoluted and weird.
-ALCHEMY consists of DESCRUTINIZING INGREDIENTS to their base form of STRUCTION BEADS, small balls of elemental building-blocks. Once INGREDIENTS have been DESCRUTINIZED, like-colored STRUCTION BEADS can be fused together in the CONSELECTION ARENA. To successfully CONSTRUCTUALIZE, the same amount of like-colored STRUCTION BEADS must be taken from the two STRINGS OF BEADS being CONSTRUG. For example, picture ITEM A has two red beads and five yellow beads on its string. And ITEM B has four red beads, one yellow bead and three green beads. You are trying to mix ITEM A with ITEM B. You can CONSTRUNG the two red beads from A and two red beads from B. Even though B has four red beads, it can only mix two, since A only has two.
-At this point, two red beads have been successfully CONSTRUNG. However, due to this CONSELECTION, there is a WASTE PARAPHERNALIA of six yellow beads, two red beads, and three green beads. You can CONSTRUNG one yellow bead between the two, but after that you still have a lot of waste. To get rid of this waste, you’ll have to DESCRUTINIZE another object, ITEM C, which has four yellow beads, two red beads, and four green beads. Now you can CONSTRUCTUALIZE this with the other two items by placing it in the CONSELECTION ARENA. With these three items, you have a WASTE PARAPHERNALIA of only one green bead. The less amount of beads wasted, the better the CONSELECTED PRODUCT.
-Now, from all three items, you have one STRING of STRUCTION BEADS. You will have a total of four RED BEADS, five YELLOW BEADS, and three GREEN BEADS. With these beads now on one string, you can place them back into the ALCHEMY APPARATUS to RESCRUTINIZE it into ITEM D, which is an item that has properties of both ITEM A, B, and C.
-The DESELECTION ARENA is where you can put a DESCRUTINIZED string of STRUCTION BEADS to remove a certain colored bead from its string. For example, if you know you don’t have any yellow beads in ITEM 1 to fuse with ITEM 2, which has a lot of them, you can preemtively DESTRUCTUALIZE the yellow beads from ITEM 2 to make it more able to CONSTRUNG with ITEM 1 without making a bunch of yellow WASTE PARAPHERNALIA, henceforth bringing down the quality of your finished item. However, once an item has entered CONSELECTION, it cannot be DESTRUNG. So make sure your items are ready for CONSELECTION using DESELECTION before you prematurely waste a bunch of beads.
-Deselection comes at a prince, however. It will lower the LEVEL of an INGREDIENT, in turn lowering the LEVEL of the finished product. ALCHEMETIZING your INGREDIENTS also adds their prospective LEVELS together, generating the finished LEVEL of the final product. So if you perfectly CONSTRUCTUALIZE four items with levels of 3,4,2, and 5. Your finished product will have a level of 14. However, keep in mind that CONSELECTION is rarely perfect, especially with a bunch of different INGREDIENTS, and anything ALCHEMETIZED over LEVEL 10 is known as a GODLIKE, and is supremely powerful. DESTRUCTUALIZING a LEVEL 3 item will make it a LEVEL 2 item. Also, every single bead of WASTE PARAPHERNALIA you create subtracts one from the final level. So if you ALCHEMETIZE two level 9 items, but leave behind 16 pieces of wasted beads, the level of your final item will be 2.
-The LEVEL of an item represents its quality. Some PANTS with a level of 6 is of better quality than PANTS at level 5 etc.
-So that’s basically how ALCHEMY works. You got that?
->oh god. oh god no. this is so complicated
-Isn’t it? Scientists have been looking for a simpler way to COMBINE items for generations. Unfortunately it appears that no such way will ever exist, and modern science has all but given up on its study.
->desctrutinize pickles
-The PICKLES INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of green STRUCTION BEADS. There are three GREEN BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->descrutinize cheese
-The CHEESE INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of yellow and green STRUCTION BEADS. There are two GREEN BEADS and two YELLOW BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->descrutinize turkey
-The TURKEY INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of brown and green STRUCTION BEADS. There are three BROWN BEADS and one GREEN BEAD. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->move bread and cheese to deselection arena
-The DESCRUTINIZED STRINGS of BEADS from the BREAD and CHEESE have been moved to the DESELECTION ARENA, which color BEAD would you like to remove, and from from which STRING?
->remove yellow from cheese
-The string of CHEESE DESELECTS its two YELLOW beads into the NOTHINGSPHERE. The level of the CHEESE has dropped from 1 to 0. Are you finished DESTRUCTUALIZING the CHEESE?
-[yes
-The CHEESE STRING returns to the ALCHEMY APPARATUS, now only holding two GREEN BEADS
-The DESCRUTINIZED STRING of BEADS from the BREAD is still in the DESELECTION ARENA. Which color BEAD would you like to remove?
-[white
-The string of BREAD DESELECTS its three WHITE beads into the NOTHINGSPHERE. The level of the BREAD has dropped from 3 to 2. Are you finished DESTRUCTUALIZING the BREAD?
-[yes
-The BREAD STRING returns to the ALCHEMY APPARATUS, now only holding two BROWN BEADS.
-[What will you do next? INSERT AN INPUT BY CLICKING AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS MESSAGE
-You try your best to force your large LAPTOP into your back pocket. You stop trying almost immediately due to how dumb you feel. This laptop takes up TEN INVENTORY SLOTS. If you want to take it with you you’ll need something large to carry it with.
->analyse laptop
-It’s a nice LAPTOP. You have tried your best to make it appear to be a laptop owned by someone who is quite savvy with electronics. The desktop wallpaper is from some obscure video game you’ve never played, and you’ve made sure to torrent a bunch of programs that you don’t really need. However, you aren’t very sure how to install these pirated programs without breaking your computer, so you just leave them alone.
-On this LAPTOP you can access your SOCIAL SPACE and post OPINIONS. You can also SHOP from it, using MONEY. You can also DRAW, WRITE, EDIT VIDEOS, PROGRAM, and all sorts of other computery stuff. You aren’t very good at anything just mentioned, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn in time.
-This computer has a wifi connection, allowing you to connect anywhere there’s an access point, as long as you know its RIDICULOUSLY LONG PASSWORD.
->pick up laptop
-Your laptop is a BARELY HEAVY ITEM, and due to this, you must roll a BRAWN SKILL CHECK using your STRENGTH MODIFIER.
-I think you see where this is going. You have no DICE, you roll a ZERO. You score a ONE due to your plus 1 STRENGTH MODIFIER.
-You try your best to lift your computer, but your arms feel like they’re made of wet silly putty. You are seriously pissed at your lack of DICE.
->charm laptop
-You point and wink at the LAPTOP. This goes over about as well as you’d expect at this point. You roll a ZERO with an added 2 MODIFIER, plus your 1 SKILL BONUS.
-For all those flowery additions, you only manage to have a score of 3.
-Your LAPTOP feels an urge to punch your stupid face.
->get dice
-Oh ok, you suddenly have DICE now.
->really?
-No, don’t be stupid. Stop being so stupid this instant.
-If you want DICE, you’ll have to find some.
-It’s a good thing you don’t necessarily need DICE to get GROCERIES. That sure would suck wouldn’t it?
->analyse groceries
-You don’t have GROCERIES to analyse.
->analyse task
-Which task shall I analyse?
-[groceries
-You need to go to the STORE to get some GROCERIES and bring them home before 2 o’clock. Currently, you’re not sure what GROCERIES you need. If only there was a LIST OF GROCERIES somewhere in the house, like in the KITCHEN or something.
->go downstairs
-You venture out of your room and to the top of the stairs that lie in between your SISTER’S ROOM and the BATHROOM. You glance downward, toward uncharted territory. You can’t help but sweat a little at the thought of exploring something completely foreign to you.
-Wait no, that’s stupid. You’ve been downstairs a ton of times.
-Really, you have.
-You’re not sure what just got into you.
-You venture in the great known. The instantly familiar landscape of the downstairs portion of the house mystifies you. You feel like a stranger in a very regular land. Every wall, table, door you come across appears extremely commonplace and exquisitely ordinary to your totally uninterested eyes, like stars in the sky, the ones that you’ve grown used to and ignore almost subconsciously.
-In this brand old world, you find yourself wandering in misty-eyed boredom to the KITCHEN. It’s extraordinary. Wait, no it isn’t.
-The KITCHEN has very shiny, white tiled floors. On top of those floors are counters that house certain kitcheny items, such as a STOVE, a MICROWAVE, a REFRIGERATOR, and a fine assortment of KNIVES next to a roll of PAPER TOWELS. There’s also a PANTRY if you’re feeling really dangerous.
-You’ve been here many times before. Really, you have.
->go to counter
-You are at the COUNTER.
->look at the counter
-It is now directly centered into your field of vision.
-There is nothing odd about the COUNTER, which is odd.
-Wasn’t there supposed to be a LIST OF GROCERIES here?
->be confused
-Accomplished. You put your hands on your head and make a bewildered expression. You are the picture of confusion right now.
->analyse situation
-You’re looking for the GROCERY LIST your MOM left for you in the KITCHEN. It appears that it isn’t on the KITCHEN COUNTER. This revelation made you confused, and you are now in the process of being confused.
->look in refrigerator
-You take one of your hands off your head to open the refrigerator door. You stare in confusion at an assortment of drinks and lunch meats.
-There is some SODA in here. There is also some SLICED TURKEY and CHEESE, along with some PICKLES and other things.
-And what’s this? There’s also a SMALL FUTURISTIC BOX with lights flashing on it. It’s making a faint humming noise.
->pick up box
-The material is cool to the touch. You turn it around in your hands. On its front are two green lights side-by-side, with an illuminated green strip crossing horizontally below them. The box is grey but shiny, is a way that reminds you of those O-PHONES that company ORANGE ships out from their factory lines every day. The box has no discernible opening point.
-Suddenly, the box begins making a noise. From tiny speaker holes in its sides you hear a familiar voice.
-“Arnold, it’s your mom. I’ve noticed lately that you’ve been leaving the house without eating a lick of breakfast or lunch. I’m concerned for your health, so before I let you have the grocery list inside this box, I’m going to need you to eat something before you go. And I know you’ll do it, because if you don’t get that grocery list and get the right things at the store, I’ll kick you out of the house. So you better hurry up!
Love Mom”
-You should have known this was one of your MOM’s little doohickeys. Being a SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER, she has access to alien material and technology, as well as inhuman PROGRAMMING SKILLS. That clever girlbastard.
-You narrow your eyes, this whole thing is coming off as very CONTRIVED.
-The cube glows again.
-“Also I though this would be a good opportunity for you to practice the alchemy system, almost like a tutorial or something like that. Love you sweety!”
-Yep, definitely contrived.
-You put the cube on the counter.
->alanyse space rift musketeer
-You try your best to make the SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER CAREER bend into an alan-like shape. You almost break your brain with the strain, but there’s no going back now.
-Despite your efforts, the SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER CAREER remains as unalan-ish as always.
->I meant analyse space rift musketeer
-I’m sorry, I don’t understand you.
->analyse space rift musketeer
-SPACE RIFT MUSKETEERS are explorers of the confines and theories of space. Unlike researchers or scientists, this guild of space adventurers band together to actively test the boundaries of other dimensions and explore the ideas of parallel universes and timelines, and don’t spend all day sitting behind a desk. Each musketeer caries a variety of reality-warping gadgets that allow them to accomplish things outside the human limitations or imagination. It is quite possibly the COOLEST THING EVER.
-Well, to other people at least. Growing up with one as your mother, you’re kind of bored by the whole thing. You’d much rather be a movie star, or something. Anything else really.
-The CAREER BARCHARTER has been updated.
->look at career barcharter
-You access your personal CAREER BARCHARTER in your STATUS DIRECTUM, in this menu lies all the CAREERS you can possibly obtain. However, before you work towards certain CAREERS, you must know about them first. You have only heard of one CAREER, which is SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER. And you absolutely don’t want to do that. Seriously, stupidest most boring job ever. You’ll never ever be a SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER; never EVER. NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU GOING TO BE A SPACE RIFT MUSKETEER.
->make a sandwich
-To partake in ALCHEMY, you must have an appropriate ALCHEMY APPARATUS and SUFFICIENT INGREDIENTS.
->get meat and cheese out of fridge
-You clutch the TURKEY container and plasticly wrapped slices of CHEESE and drag them out of the REFRIGERATOR. Your hands are now full.
->put meant and cheese on counter
-The TURKEY and CHEESE lie on the empty COUNTER.
->transport pickles to counter
-You move the PICKLES to join his fellow party members. The group of lunchy adventurers is almost balanced now with the inclusion of PICKLES’s class. Now if only they had a character with a BREAD class, they’d be a fully functioning team; ready to explore and loot treasure inside your hungry mouth cave.
->find bread
-You can’t see any BREAD from where you are.
->open pantry
-The PANTRY door is now ajar. Inside there is a LOAF OF BREAD. There’s also a treasure trove of snacks and other pantry things in there. Underneath all the food in a bunch of futuristic-looking stuff, probably more of your MOM’S boring unuseful shit.
->take bread to counter
-BREAD joins the party! This group can’t wait to be ALCHEMETIZED into a sandwich so they can get to questing!
->alchemize sandwich
-Hold on! You’re missing an ALCHEMY APPARATUS! You can’t just go around ALCHEMETIZING any old thing without an appropriate surface to get your ALCHEMETIZE on!
->get a strip of paper towel
-You rip a power towel off its roll. You now have a PAPER TOWEL in your RIGHT HAND.
->put paper towel on counter
-Done.
->put meat, cheese, bread, and pickles on paper towel
-After moving the ingredients, they begin to shine with a sciency glow. You now have an opportunity to perform ALCHEMY.
->make a motherfucking sandwich
-You begin to ALCHEMETIZE, you have now entered the ALCHEMY MENUSPECTRUM!
-Your INGREDIENTS are BREAD(LV3), PICKLES(LV2), TURKEY(LV2), and CHEESE(LV1).
-Please input your first INGREDIENT to DESCRUTINIZE.
-[ok so what exactly am i doing here?
-Sorry, I don’t understand you.
-Your INGREDIENTS are BREAD(LV3), PICKLES(LV2), TURKEY(LV2), and CHEESE(LV1).
-Please input your first INGREDIENT to DESCRUTINIZE.
-[bread
-The BREAD INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of brown and white STRUCTION BEADS. There are three WHITE BEADS and two BROWN BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->oh god what
-Sorry, I don’t understand you.
->analyse alchemy
-Alchemy is one of the base SCIENCES of mankind, and it is the only way to COMBINE items. This is kind of displeasing since ALCHEMY is really convoluted and weird.
-ALCHEMY consists of DESCRUTINIZING INGREDIENTS to their base form of STRUCTION BEADS, small balls of elemental building-blocks. Once INGREDIENTS have been DESCRUTINIZED, like-colored STRUCTION BEADS can be fused together in the CONSELECTION ARENA. To successfully CONSTRUCTUALIZE, the same amount of like-colored STRUCTION BEADS must be taken from the two STRINGS OF BEADS being CONSTRUG. For example, picture ITEM A has two red beads and five yellow beads on its string. And ITEM B has four red beads, one yellow bead and three green beads. You are trying to mix ITEM A with ITEM B. You can CONSTRUNG the two red beads from A and two red beads from B. Even though B has four red beads, it can only mix two, since A only has two.
-At this point, two red beads have been successfully CONSTRUNG. However, due to this CONSELECTION, there is a WASTE PARAPHERNALIA of six yellow beads, two red beads, and three green beads. You can CONSTRUNG one yellow bead between the two, but after that you still have a lot of waste. To get rid of this waste, you’ll have to DESCRUTINIZE another object, ITEM C, which has four yellow beads, two red beads, and four green beads. Now you can CONSTRUCTUALIZE this with the other two items by placing it in the CONSELECTION ARENA. With these three items, you have a WASTE PARAPHERNALIA of only one green bead. The less amount of beads wasted, the better the CONSELECTED PRODUCT.
-Now, from all three items, you have one STRING of STRUCTION BEADS. You will have a total of four RED BEADS, five YELLOW BEADS, and three GREEN BEADS. With these beads now on one string, you can place them back into the ALCHEMY APPARATUS to RESCRUTINIZE it into ITEM D, which is an item that has properties of both ITEM A, B, and C.
-The DESELECTION ARENA is where you can put a DESCRUTINIZED string of STRUCTION BEADS to remove a certain colored bead from its string. For example, if you know you don’t have any yellow beads in ITEM 1 to fuse with ITEM 2, which has a lot of them, you can preemtively DESTRUCTUALIZE the yellow beads from ITEM 2 to make it more able to CONSTRUNG with ITEM 1 without making a bunch of yellow WASTE PARAPHERNALIA, henceforth bringing down the quality of your finished item. However, once an item has entered CONSELECTION, it cannot be DESTRUNG. So make sure your items are ready for CONSELECTION using DESELECTION before you prematurely waste a bunch of beads.
-Deselection comes at a prince, however. It will lower the LEVEL of an INGREDIENT, in turn lowering the LEVEL of the finished product. ALCHEMETIZING your INGREDIENTS also adds their prospective LEVELS together, generating the finished LEVEL of the final product. So if you perfectly CONSTRUCTUALIZE four items with levels of 3,4,2, and 5. Your finished product will have a level of 14. However, keep in mind that CONSELECTION is rarely perfect, especially with a bunch of different INGREDIENTS, and anything ALCHEMETIZED over LEVEL 10 is known as a GODLIKE, and is supremely powerful. DESTRUCTUALIZING a LEVEL 3 item will make it a LEVEL 2 item. Also, every single bead of WASTE PARAPHERNALIA you create subtracts one from the final level. So if you ALCHEMETIZE two level 9 items, but leave behind 16 pieces of wasted beads, the level of your final item will be 2.
-The LEVEL of an item represents its quality. Some PANTS with a level of 6 is of better quality than PANTS at level 5 etc.
-So that’s basically how ALCHEMY works. You got that?
->oh god. oh god no. this is so complicated
-Isn’t it? Scientists have been looking for a simpler way to COMBINE items for generations. Unfortunately it appears that no such way will ever exist, and modern science has all but given up on its study.
->desctrutinize pickles
-The PICKLES INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of green STRUCTION BEADS. There are three GREEN BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->descrutinize cheese
-The CHEESE INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of yellow and green STRUCTION BEADS. There are two GREEN BEADS and two YELLOW BEADS. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->descrutinize turkey
-The TURKEY INGREDIENT DESCRUTINIZES into a string of brown and green STRUCTION BEADS. There are three BROWN BEADS and one GREEN BEAD. You have the option of moving any of the BEADS to the CONSELECTION ARENA or DESELECTION ARENA, or you can DESCRUTINIZE another INGREDIENT.
->move bread and cheese to deselection arena
-The DESCRUTINIZED STRINGS of BEADS from the BREAD and CHEESE have been moved to the DESELECTION ARENA, which color BEAD would you like to remove, and from from which STRING?
->remove yellow from cheese
-The string of CHEESE DESELECTS its two YELLOW beads into the NOTHINGSPHERE. The level of the CHEESE has dropped from 1 to 0. Are you finished DESTRUCTUALIZING the CHEESE?
-[yes
-The CHEESE STRING returns to the ALCHEMY APPARATUS, now only holding two GREEN BEADS
-The DESCRUTINIZED STRING of BEADS from the BREAD is still in the DESELECTION ARENA. Which color BEAD would you like to remove?
-[white
-The string of BREAD DESELECTS its three WHITE beads into the NOTHINGSPHERE. The level of the BREAD has dropped from 3 to 2. Are you finished DESTRUCTUALIZING the BREAD?
-[yes
-The BREAD STRING returns to the ALCHEMY APPARATUS, now only holding two BROWN BEADS.
-[What will you do next? INSERT AN INPUT BY CLICKING AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS MESSAGE
Insert beads into anus.
ReplyDeleteNow ATM beads.
ReplyDeleteTaste brown beads
ReplyDeleteATM implies tasting you shitty anon
ReplyDeleteBe less goony
ReplyDeleteI keep clicking where it says "click here" and nothing happens. THIS IS EFFECTING PRODUCTION.
ReplyDelete